Say No to Ho! Embrace Eccentric Glamour Instead Says Simon Doonan

In his latest book which was exclusively excerpted in the April Elle magazine, Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You, Simon Doonan issues a call to arms against the standard "boobs 'n' bleach 'n' Botox" that have many females of a certain age aging anything but gracefully. "As a result, they now resemble a bunch of aging Bratz dolls," he notes, railing against porno chic in favor of seeking out "eccentrically glamorous alternatives to the ubiquitous cheapness and tackiness that currently pass for personal style."

How? By letting your inner glamorous eccentric flag fly. Here are your choices: Gypsy, Existentialist, or Socialite.

Part 1 - The Gypsy...free spirited types (and wannabes):

Euro-glam Gypsy Hailing from the the Marisa Berenson/Talitha Getty (below) line of YSL-clad hippies of the 70s, today they can be found drinking champagne at swanky events like Art Basel Miami. Their poster child, Jade Jagger, "built a whole brand identity simply by floating about her house in Ibiza rimming her eyes with kohl and festooning her walls with sari fabrics." Designers of choice: Matthew Williamson, Duro Olowu, vintage Ossie Clark, Thea Porter and Zandra Rhodes

Isadora Gypsy Named for modern dance maven Isadora Duncan, its devotees favor luxe velvets & lace, dramatic robes, fabulous turbans, and the color olive. Typically found indulging in melancholy or antiquing on Portobello Road. Modern day examples: Cate Blanchett & Tilda Swinton

Green Gypsy The evolution of 60s Earth Shoe adherents, Kate Hudson & Liv Tyler epitomize today's green goddess. The good news is that you'll be in good company (Leo, Brad), however, there is the distinct danger of sacrificing style for sustainability...in other words, no hemp sacks sans sassy Stella stilettos. Also, in your "crucifying earnestness" concerning recycling, repurposing, and your carbon footprint, Doonan warns: "if you enter this category, please try not to become a dogmatic bore." Amen.

Hollywood Gypsy Cleaned up, de-haired, and wealthy, Ali MacGraw epitomizes this agreeable incarnation. "In her crisp white caftans and discreet jewelry, yoga-loving Ali is the acceptable face of hippie." As an added bonus, if you're curvy or plus-sized, gypsy style has your name on it. "Off-the-shoulder Carmen blouses, embroidered taffeta skirts, and Victorian piano shawls...also work wonders for the chunky, glamorous eccentric."

Here are some fun options for embarking on your new career as an eccentrically glamorous fashion gypsy:

Eccentric Glamour is available at Amazon.com.

- Lesley Scott

(photos: Simon Doonan - Elle.com; Marisa Berenson - dailymail.co.uk; Isadora Duncan - meaus.com; Kate Hudson - fashioninsanity.com; Ali MacGraw - imbd.com; Talitha Getty in still life - theuglyyearling.com)