Veteran personal trainer, fitness expert and author Marty Tuley has long advocated a no-frills, no-gimmicks, no-nonsense, not-so-subtle approach to looking your hottest, and recently released his 5th Annual Top Ten Celebrity Get Off Your Ass List. "Mathematically, the equation of "fat ass" looks something like this," explains Tuley helpfully: "eat more than you should + sit on your ass more than you should = Purple Ribbon State Fair FAT!"
So at least when you head back to the gym brimming with New Year's Resolutions, you'll know you're not alone (or, in these cases, shouldn't be):
1. Rascal FATS! "Truth is, this is a band I could do without. However, last time I checked my voice mail… Rolling Stone Magazine wasn’t calling for my opinion on their questionable career choices. On the other hand… I’m an expert on double-chins and beer-bellies which makes it perfectly okay for me to say these guys have mid-sections and chins corresponding nicely with their bank accounts. Both appear to be swelling!" RascalFlatts.com
2. Mark Mangino (University of Kansas Football Coach) "Every year I send out emails requesting candidates for my top ten lists. And every year the name Mark Mangino surfaces...To say Coach Mangino has a weight problem is akin to saying China has a little population problem. Ya think?!" (photo: geneveith.com)
3. Phyllis Smith – The Office "Check her bio out. She's a former St. Louis Cardinal! And no… I’m not talking offensive tackle, I’m talking cheerleader!! Where did that gal go?
4. Britney Spears A repeat offender (see the list for 2003), Tuley notes that stars like Spears "never learn the true value of health and fitness. They never develop an appreciation for the journey. Will Britney get in shape again? Definitely. Will she eventually fall from the wagon as she’s done previously? Bet on it." (photo: consstance.com)
- 5. James Spader – Boston Legal "I think I made a terrible career choice. I should have been a lawyer. Because if the set of Boston Legal is in any way accurate (how could it not be) then out of shape, unattractive male lawyers get a lot of hot chicks! Where do I sign?!"
6. Sara Ramirez – Grey's Anatomy "Sara is an attractive, full figured gal. BUT, she could be healthier (not to mention drop-dead gorgeous) a pinch lighter and fitter."
7. Tonye Patano – Weeds "Look folks... it really isn’t that complex. Mathematically, the equation of "fat ass" looks something like this: eat more than you should + sit on your ass more than you should = Purple Ribbon State Fair FAT!"
8. Jo Frost – Super Nanny "Built like a dresser… short, wide and stuffed! Time to clean out those dresser drawers, Jo." (photo: answers.com)
- 9. Greg Grunberg – Heroes "Greg's a great example of a late thirties male who's losing the battle and thus, the war. When I look at pictures of him over the last three years I see no signs of someone who's practicing a healthy lifestyle by eating sensibly and exercising." (photo: yahoo.com)
- Lesley Scott
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