Thanks to Seinfeld, we all have a new holiday to enjoy, complete with aluminium pole, physical contact, and even a gripe session. How fabulous! In order to celebrate Festivus in all its every-man glory, it's important to get a few things right.
According to Frank Costanza, the Festivus celebration includes three major components:
The tradition begins with a bare aluminum pole, which Frank praises for its "very high strength-to-weight ratio." During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed, apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, and because the holiday's creator, Frank Costanza, "find[s] tinsel distracting." Local customs vary and you may be able to decorate your pole with non-threatening plain decorations, or ordinary green garland. Purchase yours at FestivusPoles.com, manufactured in Milwaukee - a city famed for its very high strength-to-weight ratio.
At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.
The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.
To learn more about this fabulous holiday and how it's being observed around the world, check out Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us which features a foreward by Jerry Stiller and is a "romp through the modern Festivus landscape with tastings of Festivus Beer, visits with the Festivus snail, and quality time with Miss Festivus." The accompanying website FestivusBook.com has Festivus short films, photos of cats named Festivus, grievance airing, and tales of Festivus glory and woe. Available at Amazon.com - along with poetry, such as the winner of last year's Festivus Haiku competition:
I have a problem
with all of you who will not
air their grievances
- Lesley Scott